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Saturday, January 2, 2016

I sang to her holding her hand - a memory back in time

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I was a young girl when I first heard a song with the lyrics "I've been passing time watching trains go by" and it was all about TIME!! 
That song still instills nostalgia in me having grown up in an area where the train passes by and railway tracks were a crossing we had to make to get to the other side of the town.

I love trains and the hooting and the rush of it.

TIME, the essence of how life is run and is fashioned by. If you had asked me a couple of years ago when our family was wholesome, if I missed anything in life - I would have said no with a little bit of hesitation. Maybe it wasn't altogether wholesome but every member of my family was in it and we had a great sense of belonging and camaraderie. 

Now with 2016 waltzing into our lives, I miss my brother, sister and dad since they have slipped away from all of us.
Not one of them do I miss a little less or more. I feel the same loss for each one of them. My sister and partner of my firm left a lasting impression in me. She died of a tumor in the brain - young, vibrant, beautiful and just 48 years of age. She is survived by her son. 
It was tragic the way she died because even in her pain, she was smiling and always encouraging.
I sang to her, holding her hand and she sang along with me in her last days. I was so sick with anguish myself and there were days I couldn't except what was happening around me but I had to be strong, all of us in fact.

TIME they say will heal the pain but I still feel the loss of my brother, sister and dad just like it was the day they died. There are now more reasons to cherish those around us and live like it is the last day of our lives.

I miss my childhood days, of day-dreaming and school and listening for that whistle of the train that passes by. Life was so much simple and undemanding then.
I guess everyone grows up one day but being a grown up is not all fun and laughter. It is a responsibility to be an adult and I now know why wiser people always say to enjoy your childhood while you can as it the step you take to make you see what adulthood can never achieve.

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